I want him back so bad!?

ok the story is as goes:





last week on thursday i split up with my boyfriend after being together for just over a year. we were in a very happy relationship actually although iv got some serious paranoia, doubt and the other negative stuff you sometimes feel as well as a few reasons for not being so happy.


this happened because:- my friend A took me to see my friend T, who i had not seen in a very long time %26amp;we did not really know each other too well. i got to know him a bit %26amp; thought he was absolutely awesome! my friend A said it was really cool %26amp; cute.


it was a conversation me %26amp; T had on msn the next night %26amp; i found out he had over a year long crush on me. me being me - i was extremely flattered %26amp; aaawwww about it. i told A the next day what T had said. she said it was really sweet %26amp; started pointing out all the things we had in common %26amp; how awesome we were together.


i hung around with T again on the weekend but this time we were by ourselves. i found out a lot more about him %26amp; we had so much in common. later on when we were round his watching a naruto dvd and we ended up kissing. i felt bad because i had not been loyal to my boyfriend(R) but it felt right for some reason. i went home after having dinner there as well and felt strangely happy knowing i shouldn't be.


the next day i told A what had happened %26amp; she had an 'oh...' but 'wow' reaction. more of a wow one. she started saying stuff like 'it would be do cute if you 2 ever got together'. i can get lead on quite easily %26amp; i like to please people. my boyfriend always seemed quite cold to A so i guess she wasn't really on his side. it didn't help that i had other friends coming up to me thinking that R hates them. my friends mean the world to me %26amp; my boyfriend making them feel like he hates them angered me a bit. that along with what A %26amp; T were saying along with all the stupid little arguments me%26amp; R were having over everything made me feel like i could be happier with someone else, maybe even someone like T.


i felt quite angry with R at this moment %26amp; thinking that i could be happier made me consider a break up.


i had been hanging round with A %26amp; T more %26amp; hadn't really spoken to R much after feeling this.


i hung round with A %26amp; T on wednesday %26amp; told R i would go round his for a bit as well. i didn't end up going round his instead i had to go home for dinner %26amp; R text me %26amp; said he would come round because he now had work at 9. when he came round i didn't feel quite right %26amp; didn't kiss him even though i wanted to.


th next day, thursday, while i was at school i emailed him asking if he wanted to go into town %26amp; that we needed a talk.


we got to the talk later that day i i just said that i didn't think i was entirely happy. told him about the friends things, that i wanted to try new things, the arguments %26amp; a couple other little things. he asked if i wanted to carry the relationship on %26amp; i slowly shock my head %26amp; cried. we both agreed %26amp; said we should stay in close contact. i thought everything would be fine.





i told A %26amp; T how the talk went (as they knew about it) %26amp; what had happened.


i saw T the next day %26amp; we started kissing again and i felt fine, i felt happy. the next day i wasn't so happy %26amp; so on until now where i feel something near suicidal.


yesterday i met up with R %26amp; we had a chat %26amp; he said what he said on msn on monday: i dont want to be with you right now.


now im really trying hard just to get him back but he keeps saying the same things over %26amp; over almost like hes trying to convince himself he doesnt love me any more. i love him more then ever now after being apart from him





im writing this on my wii so my spelling %26amp; grammar is probably bad.





for more information to go by i will add a couple of the emails i sent him %26amp; a bit from my diary. this is when i can actually get on a computer. il do it as soon as i can.





if you can try help me out now id be gratefulI want him back so bad!?
it seems like youre telling him how much you want him back and how much you really love him.





if you really want to get him back then do the complete opposite.





when you give guys too much attention and love they seem to take it forgranted. leave him alone for a while and see how it turns out....if he's still acting like that then my advice is to move on. there's other fishes in the seaI want him back so bad!?
wow....If you want to be with him, get with him
From ur story i feels that u were totally wrong, and i feel R is right to do this.





But dont feel sad, now give ur attention only to ur R.


Yaar never think that he is not good for u. sab ko chodo , chahe woh T ho, ya A ho.





Vaise u really hurted R, that was only he , who was having right over u.





just wait, and remind R that u love him and love her the wole life/