Do you think I should get a divorce?

My husband and I have been together for 11 years (married 9). We are both 36 but he acts 60. All he does is watch football and family guy and fall asleep in his lazy-boy. There's no conversation. No chemistry. No affection. We have nothing in common. He never wants to go anywhere. He constantly complains about aches and pains. We have sex rarely (his choice, not mine). And when we do he just lays there. (Yes, I'm saying this about a man!) and I end up feeling like a rapist because it's so obvious that he's not into it. So I can rarely bring myself to try. Funny thing is he's kind of always been this way. It's just never bothered my as much as it does now. I want to travel! I want to learn something new. I want to laugh. But most of all I want some romance! I'm not ';in love'; with him because there isn't anything to be in love with. I feel like I'm married to my Dad. This is a horrible existence. I feel like he's just wasting time until he dies. I'm not that demanding. He doesn't have to be perfect, just alive! Lately I've been thinking about how different my life would be if I were single. I could date. Maybe meet someone with more in common with me. Someone who's really into me. Maybe even someone a bit younger (so he could keep up with me!).


He's not a bad guy. He isn't abusive. He's just sooooooo boring!


Has anyone else been through this? Could it be that we've just grown apart? Should I divorce someone just because I'm unhappy or is that not a good enough reason? Honestly, dating other people aside, I think I'd rather be alone than live with someone who makes me unhappy. Any advice?


Just in case you were wondering I doubt he's depressed. He certainly gets excited about football. And he had a physical not too long ago. Nothings wrong with him physically.Do you think I should get a divorce?
You are very young and if he doesn't appreciates you someone else will. Talk to him seriously and tell him all the way you feel and tell him all of the things you don't like about him. If he doesn't do anything to make the relationship better then I would suggest that you get a divorce. It is not worth it to be in a relationship like that. I'm sorry but yo deserve better. Good luck!Do you think I should get a divorce?
you made ur bed now lay in it - I mean u have been putting up with it this long and u did clasically wat all women do - hoped it would change un realizing that people rarely change - so now u wanna leave this man for being the exact same guy u fell in love with 11 yrs ago? thats not right nor is it fair !
Get out now! You only live once and if you don't make yourself happy you will become depressed yourself. I'd rather be alone than in an unhappy marriage. I've been single for 9 years now and there's nothing like it. The freedom is amazing!!!
you need to think about your happiness. If you don't have kids then leave. Why stay around and be depressed? Find yourself a guy who will want to make you smile and make you feel good.
Its just wrong ,u should just try to make your marriege work,en by the way ,better the Devil you know that the Angel you dont know ,,,be carefull
Yes , being unhappy is a good reason to get a divorce. Find someone who wants to live life.
Thats sad for you and him. I agree you should try some marriage counseling and talk to the poor guy before you get divorced!! Try out my situation, my man hangs in bars,drinks too much,has sluts for friends and lies all the time!!! Anyway it sounds like the guy has potential to be great, ask him to change some small things little by little,try going out to eat,go to a movie,go on a vacation together,do things you did when you were first dating! Maybe wear some lingerie or dress up for him,watch a porn moviee with him to get him in the mood,try things differently! It takes two to make it work! I wouldnt give up on him so easy! Atleast hes home with you and not out at the bar picking up whores!!!!
Sometimes this just happens. People grow apart. It is not that you don't love him but you are not in love with him. I think why the sex thing bothers you is because you are just now hitting your sexual peak. Women's you do anything drastic like divorce, see if your husband will go to counseling. If he refuses then you should go by yourself. It will help. And maybe he does have chronic depression, and has had it for the majority of his life. Maybe a licensed professional could help him see that. If he is not willing to seek help and is happy the way he is, then work on being happy within yourself and secure in whatever decision you make. At the very least, a counselor can help you make a decision and be sure that you will be able to not second-guess yourself later and know that you did everything possible to save your marriage. A counselor can also teach you how to talk to your husband in a non-confrontational way that will yield the best possible results.
I have been in a somewhat similar situation. I was with a guy for three years who I loved but who bored the HELL out of me. Everything was boring...especially sex. I tried to spice life up with him but it didn't work.





Since you are married though, I would encourage you to talk to him about this problem. Let him know that you are unhappy, that you want to spend time together outside of the home, and that you want to spice up your sex life. If he makes no effort to meet you halfway on this, then maybe it's time to get a divorce. If he does try to make you happy, then things will hopefully work out.





Also, remember to do your part. Maybe he's bored too or just complacent. Get some sexy lingerie, put on some hot music, and boss him around a little bit. Wake his a** up, LOL!
You just described my ex husband....except mine was emotionally abusive.





I was married to him for 10 years, but for the last 3 of those years was trying to pluck up the courage to leave. Yes it was scary, because we have 2 kids etc .....





However leaving him was the best thing I ever did. I was free. Then I met a wonderful man who treats me and the girls like princesses.....and 4 years on I am now finally happily married.





I do suggest though for you own peace of mind, that you exhaust every possible avenue before you do decide to leave...........talk to him and give it your best shot. Then you cant say you didnt try.
How ironic you ask this...my wife and I had about the same conversation earlier this week. We've been together for 20+ years and we both saw our marriage was getting a little stale.





We both work hard, have good jobs but we have gotten ourselves into a boring routine. We love each other but there was no sex, no real compassion and boredom was creeping it's way into our marriage. It all was becoming a routine. This is what we did...maybe give it a try....





We set down...each of us had our say even though sometimes it got a little heated. With both of us knowing there needed to be a change we talked openly.





We both took a long weekend (not a trip) and decided to re-kindle our affection. We done household chores together ie; grocery store, laundry, cleaning and the likes. Then we spent the day together doing nothing but things we wanted. We done all this stuff together.





Then we done some role playing. I asked her out to lunch, then a movie and then we came home. Later we made dinner together and then cuddled on our sofa. Needless to say we had the most amazing sex later that night. I'm 49 and she is 43 and we went at it like we were in our twenties.





The point to all I said is that it takes two to make a marriage work...if one doesn't want to try then it's pointless to stay in a unhealthy relationship. We have a nice home, nice stuff, nice cars...all of that. We were not willing to throw it all away.





I suggest talking, bring it all out in the open and if one doesn't want to try then leave. Divorce is a nasty word but sometimes it's the only recorse.





Divorce is not only about quitting...mental sanity is the most important.
Get a divorce, no way! You married his a**. What you need to do is stop being so concerned about what he does and remember that you have a separate life to live. Not the wife part (I dunno if kids are involved) but the individual one, YOU. Get on with your life experiences that you enjoy! If you're not around because you're living your life he's gonna get his lazy a** up off the couch and see what you're up to. Maybe he'll even start swooing you if he thinks you are out with ';friends';. Nobody said you gotta go all skank wit it but he will see a change and maybe he'll follow and show you a whole new and exciting side of him.


Try it! You might like it! Enjoy your life to the fullest possible!
You've got yourself a beached whale. I've known several women who got rid of their husbands because there was absolutely nothing in the marriage for them... it was all maintaining the husband. Their lives improved greatly after doffing the baggage. Men do better within a marriage, and women only need marriage for reproduction and support thereafter.


Life is short. Start intercepting all financial statements...you can get up to 1/2 of all accrued property/monies (minus debts) for at least the time of your marriage... that will be enough to start over with. Pick up the latest do-it-yourself divorce guide for your state at the local bookstore and get the appropriate papers filled out and filed. You can probably be free for as little as $300.
You need to talk to him first.


Don't just bring up divorce with him if he doesn't even know what's going on with the way you're feeling. It's not fair to him.


All i can say is, wow. It's like you're dying of boredom in your life, but that's not what it's about. We only get one life and we have to make the most of it. Get out there and LIVE, girl!!!
u need to do what makes u happy!! Its your life and u only get one of those so make it good and do what u want. Do u want to be boring for the rest of your life or travel and enjoy the life you've dreamed of. No man should ever hold u back from doing what makes you happy.
No, you shouldn't get a divorce, not unless he is cheating and/or being abusive. This is why the divorce rate is so high in America, people go through rough patches in the marriages and then they just want to get divorced which is the easy answer. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I just have to be blunt about it. Marriage isn't easy, it takes work. When people stop working on marriages, they easily fall apart. It sounds to me that's what happened with your marriage. He hasn't been trying to compromise with you, but I'm willing to bet you haven't told him all the things you listed above either. Tell him you want romance, tell him you want to travel, tell him that you want to learn something new and even if he doesn't want to do all of these things, it's okay you can still do them by yourself, but I do think the sex needs to be worked on and the romance issue. Seek counseling, but most of all communicate with your husband.