I am her 17 years old younger sister, and I know I am not ';grown up'; yet, but there is one thing I KNOW is wrong, sick, perverted, and discusting.
My 19 year old sisters ';first boyfriend'; is a stinking 37 year old man she met online that lives on the otherside of the country. Not only that, but she flew down to see him for 7 days while my mom and I had to cover for her to my dad- she left overnight just leaving a note that lied where she was going, until after she got there then she told my mom. She also didn't even use her money, but my dads. My mother knows, but she doesn't know what else to do, she can't tell my dad because most likely that will lead to a divorce and other versions of hell for both her and me.
My mom tried talking to my sister, reasoning with her, asking her to stop, and everything else she can think of. But she won't listen.
I know my sister *did it* with the 37 year old man, and she doesn't seem to regret it. That sickens me even more. This man has a lot of *baggage* in his life as well as he is unemployed!!! And yet he wants to move up ';here'; with my sister (so she can move out of the house) - ugh.
I know this story is wrong, and you probably are going to judge how my family is and how I was raised. But if you can take in your heart to believe me, my parents did a good job raising us. Nice homes, food, neighborhoods, schooling... but somehow my sister got into this stuff online.
I am hurt, I can't respect or love my sister anymore. I used to look up to her, and now... I can't even look at her without getting mad at her.
I just want some help, advice, or maybe even someone else who could tell me that they are in the same position I am in. It is embarrassing to see my sister be this stupid.
My sister doesn't even talk to my mother since she flew down to see him, and she only talks to me if she needs something. She doesn't care how I feel anymore, she acts all *nice* all the time and I just tolerate it. I don't express my anger at her for hurting my mother and I so.
I don't get it, she thinks he is the right man for her- but she won't even tell anyone about him- other than her other ';so called'; friend who is into the EXACT same thing. Usually if someone has an *awesome boyfriend*, you could at least tell your best friend who he is- her real best friend. Oh and the internet thing, half of that is role-playing crap. Like ';one is the slave and the man is the master';. My sisters so called *master* made her a COLLAR while she was with him.
You all keep saying (in my last post ) that ';she is an adult, but I meen- COME ON?! Do you guys really think this is right?
So if you can understand why I can't even look at her anymore, that is why. It's NOT just the fact she is in love with a 37 year old man. But that he is UNEMPLOYED, broke, has a *gifted kid* about 13, he is taking care of his EX-mother-in-law (who lives at HIS house), and he made her a stinking collar... Oh, and the distance of him from my sister, where they live- is say, Calififornia to Maine.
I am only so mad and hurt because despite all this, I still *love my sister*. The reason I try not to is because I'm hurt too much for what she did. I know if my dad found out about this, my mom and dad would get a divorce and he'd probably disown her.
I just need some help or commfort please.19 yr. old sister in love with 37 yr. old man. Help me please.?
I have a 17 year old daughter who has been involved with a 34 yr. old guy, she started seeing him when she turned 16. He is unemployed, with 5 kids whom were taken away from him due to he has been arrested 11 times within the past 6 years. I have tried talking with my daughter but when she sneaked out one nite I was worried. I finally moved her in with her grandparents in a different state, it hurt her at first but she forgave me and she is excelling in school and has a full time job. I think your mom should always let your dad know what is going on. If he finds out from another source it would be a bad situation. Why should your mom lose your dad's trust for your sister who only cares for what she wants? I would rather know where my daughter is than for her to get mad run off with a guy, and never see her again, I just hope and pray she will make the right choices from this point in her life.19 yr. old sister in love with 37 yr. old man. Help me please.?
Not much you can do, Your Sister needs to make Her own mistakes and learn from them.
not trying to be harsh but your sister is grown now even if you think that your telling her the right thing she is gonna have to find out the hard away sorry if i sounds harsh
look tell her this I meet my husband when I was 15 he was 35 years old back then ,I ran away from home to be with him when I was 16 ,he used to hit me and control me , is been hell since I left my home , tell her my story is been 13 years and I cant leave him cuz we have kids , he usually threats me on taking my kids away ,he has done it in the past cuz I left him , now Im stuck with him until my kids grow older , I have tried to kill my self many time, now Im 28 almost 29 and I wish I had listen to my sisters and mother , your mom should tell your Dad ,do something dont let her do this ,she will ruin her life , also tell her to picture herself taking care of an old guy in a few years from now .
i HIGHLY doubt this will lead to a divorce for your parents. it's not like it's your mum who's seeing this guy.
if your sister really is in love with this mate, then let her be. if she gets fukced over it's just another lesson learned. try not to sweat it, she can be doing it for attention too (:
Your question is a little long if you want alot of answers...some people may not take the time to read it.
Anyway, I was once in a somewhat relationship with a 35 year old when I was only 20. Before that, the thought of someone so old disgusted me too. I don't know how it happened, I just found him charming...and it almost brainwashed me. I was young and stupid.
Now, I am no longer in the relationship, I am engaged to someone only a year and a half older than me.
Maybe your sister just wants some attention from an older man....maybe he makes her feel loved and important. Some people are just attracted to older people.
Does your sister have a good relationship with her father? All of these things can play a roll in why someone does the things they do.
Just pour out your heart...tell her you love her and you know there are other guys that would find her attractive and that are better suited for her.
Other than that, there is nothing more you can do. She is legally an adult.
wow, that's tragic... Umm... Don't talk to your sister and share feelings with your mom.... Also, I think that you and your mom should tell your dad, he deserves to know... Also, if he finds out on his own... Ohhhh boyyyy...
im sorry hun but by law she is considered a adult at 18 BUT yes i do find that sickening and nasty and you could instead of being quiet voice your opinion to your sister have your mom take away the internet even though that might just stop it for a day or two but i mean she can't go to him without money so don't give her any also it kinda sounds like your not from the US and if you are sorry about that but im sure your mom can report his *** if he tries to come down there to see her and if she doesn't have money and no way to get to him and he can't get to her after time it will end hm also if it doesn't stop maybe you should tell your dad or take her to like a motivational speaker or something i could maybe help a little bit more if i knew where you where exactly from and im sure your dad wouldn't do all that unless you guys have a strict religion or family way
Your sister's skanky behavior doesn't deserve any respect. Show her what all we have to say.
While this guy is a major case of arrested development, they are both adults...barf. By law, this is perfectly legal.
Time for you to stand up to your mom and tell her you will NOT help her lie to your dad. You will tell him the truth any time he asks about something..anything. Her pitting you against your father was very, very, wrong. If your mom can't start telling the truth, it's best they NOT be married. Let her take her lying lumps.
Please show your parents this as well.
The 19 yr old is acting like a spoiled brat. So, being she's so ';adult';, there is NO MORE GIVING HER ANY MONEY. No helping her at all. Until she comes to her senses and dumps his butt.
There is nothing morally wrong with a 19 year old dating a 37 year old. I happen to know a couple with a 20 year age difference who first got together at about that time, they were 20 and 40 when they first got together and guess what? They were together for about 15 years. They still are good friends with each other and have kids together who are doing fine. There was nothing 'wrong' with it. You are a selfish judgemental little snot who is more concerned with thigns that don't matter (ie, age) than with things that do matter. (ie, your sisters happiness)
Whoa way too long of a story, however I can tell you that at 19 your sister is an adult and if she wants to be involved with a 37 year old man that is HER business and her right to do so as an adult. The fact that you and your mother ';covered'; for her while she visited her boyfriend was YOUR fault not her's. If your father divorces your mother because your ADULT sister is involved with a 37 year old man then obviously they should never have gotten married to begin with. It is up to no one else to decide whether her involvement with this man is right or wrong, it is her life, she is an adult. If you don't want to look at her any longer then don't...but don't blame her for the choices that YOU make. You have no right to be angry, or hurt for that matter, it isn't YOUR life it is hers and it is her choice to make, not your's not your mother's not your father's.
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