How do you stop caring about what others think of you?

For me it's easier said then done. Some days I can get up and not care, but by the end of the week everything just hit me. I don't know if its a stare, or a gesture... maybe even someone words.... but it all just hit me. It make me just want to go in my room, curl up, and cry. How do I stop caring... and just start living?





Im 19 and i did something I regret. I've been depressed for years, and only thing that could help me feel some sort of better is having a boyfriend. It was never about sex, I actually didn't lose my virginity unti I was 18... it was just the fact of having someone around that showed their love for me (even if it wasn't real) that made me feel better. Well anyway when I was 17 I was dating this boy. I thought I loved him, he said he loved me, but within a year of us dating he changed. He stopped doing the things he used to, I eventually found out that he was messing with some other girls and got both of them pregnant. (remind you I never did anything with him, so i kind of blamed myself)... I was hurting for so long.. then this other guy came along... he was much older... I thought he was much maturer, and that he would helped me get over my ex. One night he kind of pressured me into having sex (about 3 months after we were ';dating';). I didn't really want to but I knew my ex was out living his life, I didn't want to be sitting home moping and crying so i did it. This new guy I was talking to for a little over a year..(we had sex alot, it eventually seemed like that's all he cared about). After a while i felt it was wrong and decided to break it off with him... now i guess he'sgoing around telling people that me and him had sex. i hate it.. it's like everyone keeps staring at me like im some type of whore... ealier as i was walking home from the store I saw someone doing this little hand gesture, as if he was playing with himself... Im not sure if he was doing it to me but i assume he was. It's like everywhere i go i just think people are talking about it or when ever someone looks at me that's what they are thinking about. I just wish I could take it back. How do I stop caring about what other's think?








BTW the older guy(27) is the guy i lost my virginity toHow do you stop caring about what others think of you?
first of all sweetie you are not a whore. you sound like you care and love yourself too much so dont even think that way. we all do things and get pressured into things we regret and dont want to do. i was about your age when i lost my virginity too, i was dating a guy that i knew cared about me so my case was a little different, but when we broke up i went through a phase where i didnt care and i was so depressed and i slept around thinking it would make me feel better. it made me feel worse and i hated myself but you can only allow yourself to feel that way for so long. you live and you learn and as far as people making fun of you and that guy making the hand jesture...well thats probably all he knows! i am 31 and what i have noticed is that the mistakes that i made in the past actually made me a more careful person, a more informed person. it educated me on how to be good to myself and to hell with what others thought. i will make more mistakes in the future we all do. and you know whats funny is that learning from your mistakes and things you wish you could take back just make you better yourself. try to keep in mind in the future if you dont want to have sex....THEN DONT ITS OKAY....if they never talk to you again...ITS OKAY....because if they are like that then guess what? you would have ended up hurt either way, just worse if you went through with something you didnt want to do. i'm not a man hater by any means, chicks run the exact same way! just please dont spend one more second crying over all of this.....you are humanHow do you stop caring about what others think of you?
wow thats crazzy.


but the way i go is that u live ur life the way u want to live it.


you dont live to please anybody else.


i kno theres like alot of pressure, but just think about it that way.


dont think in a negative way.
YOU CAN START BY


LIKING YOURSELF


MAYBE THEN YOU WOULDN'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF YOU



Don't sleep around.



too much life coming at you way too fast. I use to suffer from the what other people think syndrome, it wasn't about what they thought as much as I felt inferior to people. but eventually we all get over our little peculiar habits of making our self out to be more than we are. most people don't give a crap about you or what you did with your vagina. most guys hope you are a whore or a sl.ut. most people don't have an opinion of you, they really don't care. i think you pump your self image up in your head because you can't accept that you really don't matter that much. and I hear a morsel of blame in your voice that the 27 year old took your virginity against your will. you knew at the time that 27 year old guys want to have sex and your 27 year old guy would be no different. there is nothing wrong with sex as long as you are mature enough to understand it. you can't take the sex back. if you try to trick your mind into it never happened, you will become a schizo so just tell yourself you aren't that important that people aren't really interested in how many times you had sex. you aren't jewish are you , LOL
I think you would really benefit from reading this book. The book is a non-fiction account of something similar to your situation. Its called ';Loose Girl'; and its written by Kerry Cohen. Here is a link to the website for the author.





http://www.kerry-cohen.com/loose_girl.ht鈥?/a>





You said that you've been depressed for years, but the situation with your boyfriend occurred when you were 17. Am I correct in assuming that the cause of your depression is something that happened before? If so, I think one of the first things you can do is try to resolve the cause f your depression.





Now this is something that will mostly likely take a bit of time, so be patient. Are you seeking therapy for your depression? If not, then maybe you should. Most schools have a guidance counselor that you can talk to. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, or have already tried, try talking to someone else. Maybe a teacher you trust or a relative you're close to.





The things you have experienced with your boyfriends are also a major source of stress, conflict, and heartache. It seems like perhaps you could use someone to talk to these things about as well. How close are you to your mom? Do you feel comfortable talking to here about your situation? If not, perhaps you should talk to an older cousin or someone else you trust. Talking to your friends may not be as useful in this situation as they are too young to truly give you good advice. They are going through many of the same things, and are just as confused as you.





There are two things you need to understand. With the first boyfriend (when you were 17), his cheating on you has less to do with you and more to do with his character. It is not your fault. He was just horny and immature. With the second boyfriend (when you were 18), he seemed to only want you for the sex. He pressured you into it, even if you may have not been ready. And you say thats all he wanted after. Unfortunately there are many guys like this. The age of a guy has very little to do with his maturity. But it says a lot about you that you were able to recognize this, and break things up. You choose not to stay in a relationship that was not good for you. That was a powerful move.





You are not a whore because you slept with one guy. Don't doubt yourself. (in fact the true sluts were your boyfriends.) Hang out with your true friends who know you, and ignore what everyone else says.
get high like planes.





well make a statement...by the way i am being serious when i say you should shave your head. and go out with your head held high and walk with pride for who you are.





actually you dont have to do that shaving the head part.





you remind me of someone i know.
You can only live your life forward. Look forward and live your life at higher standards as you go. Your already a better person when you CARE to be better. Live with ethics, morals, and pride, and you will know who you are, regardless of what others say about you.


there's is love in the light.