I lied to someone even though she trusted me a lot. What should I do (read the rest for more info)?

So I met this gorgeous girl in January and we clicked from the beginning (I'm 18, she's 17 by the way). We started talking almost every day and somewhere between all of our retarded conversations and tee hee moments she started to like me. I liked her a lot too but never admitted it. haha we even made each other videos just because. At the end of May we got into an argument because I didn't want a relationship at all (We were practically best friends though). Even though I really liked this person I didn't want one because I know I wouldn't have time in college. I really wouldn't. Plus I'd be moving away.





In the midst of our relationship I kinda told a lie (a big one to her) about something and she found out that I was lying the other day. It's probably bigger than a white lie, but smaller than a black one. I don't wanna explain it but I betrayed her...and I feel horrible lying in the first place. We haven't talked since and i'm not sure how she feels.





The reason I lied was because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. When I met her she was kinda sad a lot and she became really happy when she met me...legit. I didn't want her to become sad again because she deserved being happy. I tried to ween her off from me but that didn't work out too well. So, I kept digging my hole deeper and deeper just to prevent her from getting hurt. But, I'm sure if I told her in the beginning she wouldve been fine. fml. I think i was thinking too much of her feelings from the start





I'm kinda relieved she knows now buit I know we won't be able to talk again...I know her really well and I know she wont want to talk to me again...I think cuz she opened up so much to me and trusted me so much, only for me to lie to her...I suck.





And I would always skip studying or hold off homework or whatever else just to talk to her...she was freakin rad and we thought so much alike. We would actually say the same things at the same time sometimes haha.





So how would I fix this problem? What would u do? I feel horrible and I'm ok if we dont talk or see each other again. I just want to make sure she's ok and that she knows the reason why I lied. She said I had some explaining to do, and I'm willing to be completely honest this time, even if we dont talk again. The only thing I want for her is to be happy even though the person she trusted most betrayed her (She told me this too...we told each other everything...except for me with my stupid lie)





I never liked anyone as much as I liked her so I guess that's why I'm like this. I really really liked her and I messed it up...argh!





Thanks for reading all of that and sorry if it's confusing.I lied to someone even though she trusted me a lot. What should I do (read the rest for more info)?
you know, i think you need to just send her the link to this question. or TELL her all of this; leave nothing out. the only way for you to regain her trust is to earn it, so just explain everything to her...leave nothing out, and don't make things up this time.





and remember to tell her why you lied to her in the first place- to spare her feelings. even if you never talk again (which i doubt will happen considering how close you two seemed), at least you'll have set the record straight and have cleared your conscience, you know?