Has anyone ever fooled around and felt they cheated on someone even though they werent in a relationship ?

I have been very much in love with someone for a long time though he doesn't know and I have never been in a relationship with him nor have we ever hung out together....it's a secret ';crush'; (though obviously it's beyond the fixation of a crush). But to forget him or to move on or for attention, periodically I was lustfully affectionate/once even had sex with people....but it caused me to feel I totally cheated on him, betraying the feelings I have for him, making all those feelings look insincere.





Do you think I have cheated? Everytime after I participated in the lustful act, I only thought of him and felt very bad and said ';how do you do such things when you love someone?';





I plan to tell him soon in a long letter how much I have loved for the last few years. Do you think if I do get to have a relationship with him and tell him I had been lustful sometimes with people, can he hold it against me?





Because I hold it against myself.Has anyone ever fooled around and felt they cheated on someone even though they werent in a relationship ?
You haven't cheated on him because you are not in a relationship. You have cheated yourself because you should have been honest with him about how you felt. You should let him know how you feel but do not speak about your past experiences. You do not need to apologize to anyone because you didn't do anything wrong. He cant hold anything against you because again you two were not in a relationship. I think you are being waaaaaay too hard on yourself and you need to relax a bit.Has anyone ever fooled around and felt they cheated on someone even though they werent in a relationship ?
No, you didn't cheat. You two weren't going out and he doesn't even know you like him. How could that be cheating?


But I can kind of understand how you feel. When My girl and I broke up for a few months I went on a few dates and couldn't bring myself to do anything, even kiss them, because I felt like I was cheating on my girl. I'm glad I never did anything either, cuz now we're back together and happy.
if you undermine the feelings which dictate your emotions, you may feel it necessary to validate them by expressing what it is that you feel undermines them. if you ever go out with this special guy, and you still feel guilty, you will have an emotional weight on your shoulders. and if you express to him that you feel guilty because you slept with others when you had feelings for him, he may feel insecure, or wonder why you did not act on these feelings straight away. if you hold it against yourself, then realize that you will have to carry that, in one form or another, silently or as a burden on the relationship. if he already knows about these other relationships, then it would be best to use time to your advantage to distance yourself intimately from other men before appearing interested in him. i doubt it would be helpful to tell him you had been lustful with others. if you have trouble dealing with the guilt try and be constructive. do something with your hands. even writing down words can be a constructive form of thinking.